Fortunately, we all have the potential to hear Saoirse's songs. Saoirse represents our innate desire to discover who we are and become fully human instead of remaining a measurable object deprived of individual uniqueness. I have witnessed many people live as if there were some external, universal, right ways to go about life. Let us turn temporarily to a few people I know in real life (some names have been changed for confidentiality, and some stories blurred together for brevity). Amber, 72, wakes up every morning with her first thought, "What should I do today?" as if life were only about doing things. Fei, 42, does not like their job in finance but does not know what they want to do and how they can pivot in their career path. They sometimes ask me impatiently, "What should I do?" expecting me to alleviate their confusion and dissatisfaction with their life by showing them where a different life is to be found. David, 22, has just graduated from college and is confused about his future and love life. He turns to me when he has trouble at work or goes through interpersonal challenges. He asks, "So, what should I do?" looking at me as though I were some kind of authority with the correct answers to his problems. Yet, Amber, Fei, and David have tolerated their frustration in not getting quick answers or advice from me. They brought themselves to therapy every week, learning to find answers from themselves and discover their own truth. They have learned to hear their song.

Some of you may wonder how you can find your answers. Let us turn back to our story and our heroin, Saoirse. Have you considered why Saoirise needs to find her seal coat to sing in her own voice? Metaphorically and psychologically, we must see and feel our "psychic skin" as we learn to express ourselves and discover "who I am." "Psychic skin" is our capacity to tell what is within and outside us. For example, when your parents tell you to be practical and work at a corporate job, do you ask yourself how YOU feel about this? When health experts say you should walk 10,000 steps daily, do you know if this works for YOU? When most of your friends have become married with two kids by 30, do you check in with yourself to figure out if this is what YOU desire? When your manager insists you have done something wrong and criticizes you, do you pause and see if what the manager says reflects YOUR intention and who YOU are?

A more straightforward way to find and get in touch with our "psychic skin" is through sensory experiences. Recently, I asked one of my patients when she last did something for herself and felt good about it. She thought for a few seconds and said she did not know. We decided that she would start small by asking what tea she wants on a particular day and what it is about the tea that she enjoys. For example, is it the flavor? Is it the warmth or the coldness of the tea? Does the tea bring up memories that feel pleasant? Or does she feel settled when she holds the teacup in her hand? This may be a helpful start for you as well.

To sum it up, discovering "who I am" is about sensitively holding ourselves in our minds and attending to our inner experiences, including feelings, sensations, thoughts, and imaginations. The more we ask "How am I?" instead of "What should I do?", the closer we get to our seal coat and our ability to hear and sing our song. The more we orient toward what "I feel," "I want," "I desire," "I value," "I aspire," and "I dislike," the less confused we are about "who I am." As tempting as Macha's controlling strategy is to cut off our feelings, Saoirse must sing her songs and determine her destination. Macha's method may feel easy, but it costs our aliveness, creativity, and spontaneity. Saoirse must endure a long, arduous journey to find and connect with her seal coat. Still, the outcome is the invaluable freedom to express ourselves from the depth of "I am."